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Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

Dr. Jackie and the dedicated team at DrJackieBlack.com

**ANNOUNCEMENT**

We’re pleased to tell you that our online problems are fixed! Watch for our daily BLOG postings to begin again soon!

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

Dr. Jackie and the dedicated team at DrJackieBlack.com

Technical Challenges!

I am sorry to inform you that I am experiencing some computer difficulties and will not be able to post my daily blogs until I am back online. Thank you for your understanding and watch for me to be back soon!

Until then, remember...
Only YOU can make it Happen!

Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

Most of us know how to speak. Many of us have never learned how to communicate.

1. To communicate clearly and effectively you must understand there are two sides to every communication – the one who sends the communication and the one who receives it.


2. Likewise, there are two methods of communication – verbal and non-verbal communication. Don’t forget – just because you may not be speaking, doesn’t mean you are not saying something. Often, not saying something can be more important than saying something.


3. Avoid the five behaviors that don’t work in communicating: “Justifying,” “Blaming,” “Being a Victim,” “Seeking Approval” and “Hinting By Asking Questions.” These behaviors cause confusion and misunderstandings and never move a conversation forward to a mutually satisfying conclusion.


4. Speak from the “I” position. “I” language is very useful for helping you assertively and accurately express what is going on inside you and express scary or negative feelings or thoughts to someone else.


5. An “I’ message has three parts: a feeling or a request; a factual description of the situation or event; and the impact, effect or result it has/had on you.


6. Be direct, use simple and clear words and be specific.


7. Complaining is a healthy way to convey your grievances and objections when your desires and needs go unmet.


8. Request a change after you have aired your complaint.


9. Avoid criticizing another person. Period! Criticizing is a desire expressed with negative energy. Criticizing is complaining gone awry.


10. Express your angry feelings respectfully and responsibly. Anger is a normal and natural feeling state. The impulse to attack is hostility, and the behavior of attacking is violence.

Until next time remember,

Only YOU can make it Happen!

10 Tips For Safe Internet Dating

Being safe and staying safe is your number one job! You are meeting complete strangers and unfortunately, some people are not who they represent themselves to be.

You must be conscious, alert and pro-active at all times. Here are my Top 10 Tips For Staying Safe when you date on the Net.

1. Get a completely new web e-mail account on Yahoo.com or Hotmail.com just for dating. Do not use your existing email account because doing so could allow someone to trace you if they wanted to find out who and where you are. Yahoo and Hotmail do not require complete personal information to set up accounts.


2. Get a telephone voicemail account or a pager. Instead of your home, office or cell phone numbers, give out that special dating number to prospective dates.


3. Do not give out your home or business address, or make reference to your home neighborhood. Never allow anyone to pick you up at your home or office, and do not pick up anyone at his or her home or office.


4. Before you make a plan to meet face-to-face for the first time, be sure you have important information about him or her in addition to the information on the standard profile you fill out (phone numbers, business information, friends/co-workers/neighbors, etc.). Call the number(s) to be sure they are real and valid.


5. Meet during the day in a very busy, public place and in a neighborhood not close to your home or office.


6. Always tell a friend or two that you are going to meet someone you have been corresponding with on the Internet. Tell your friend who you are meeting, where you are meeting, the time and when you expect to return home.


7. Take along a cell phone and have friends call periodically.


8. Park your car down the street, never in an adjacent parking lot or on the street in front of the designated meeting place. If you are taking a bus, train, the Tube or Metro or other public transportation, be sure you are not followed when you enter those vehicles after the meeting.


9. Do not allow anyone to walk you to your car. Tell them you have other shopping to do in the mall or in a nearby store. Be sure they leave the area before you go to your car.


10. If at any time something doesn’t feel right, or you start to feel uneasy, uncomfortable or in any danger, change the situation until you feel safe, including ending the meeting.

Ensure your safety first, above all else! Only you can make you feel safe.


Until next time remember,

Only YOU can make it Happen!

10 Tips For Successful Internet Dating

Internet Dating has become a popular, legitimate and preferred way to date. Men and women across the globe are talking about – and are interested in – Internet Dating.

Your success depends on you becoming conscious, forthcoming about your needs and requirements, and developing excellent listening skills.

Here are my Top 10 Tips For Success when you date on the Net.

1. Give serious thought to who you are, who you are interested in meeting and how you might describe yourself and your ideal match.


2. Focus on writing a great profile that does two things: gets you “found” and gets responses from people who zero in on your ideal match.


3. Post a current photograph. Ask yourself, “How do I want to present myself?” “How do I want people to see me?” “What do I want them to know when they read about me?” And please make sure you post your photo — not someone else’s!!


4. Resist embellishing and exaggerating. Integrity is not a choice. Integrity lives inside us and is part of every action, reaction, interaction, choice and decision.


5. Be timely. Answer the responses and initial inquiries within three to four days. It is considered good etiquette to answer all emails since people have taken the time and effort to communicate with you.


6. Think about each email as an opportunity to get to know another new person. Be curious and interested.


7. Move to the phone after two to five emails. The faster you move from email to the telephone, the faster you will be able to pay attention to little clues that may alert you to a potential “plus” or a potential problem.


8. Gradually collect information to assess and determine if you want to meet this person face-to-face.


9. Watch for red flags. Most people are on their best behavior when you first meet. Stay observant and don’t make any excuses for any bad or questionable behavior.


10. Ensure your safety first above all else! Being safe and staying safe is your responsibility. Only you can make you feel safe.

Until next time remember…

Only YOU can make it Happen!

19 Simple Remiders For A Richer, More Meaningful Life

Recently, I received the “Instructions For Life” by the Dali Lama in an email from a very dear friend.

Whether or not you embrace the teachings of the Dali Lama, these “Instructions” seem very universal to me and something we can all benefit from being reminded about every now and again.

I am always grateful to be reminded of what is truly important. I hope this is a welcome reminder for you too.

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve risk.


2. When you loose, don’t loose the lesson.


3. Follow the 3 R’s:


• Respect for Self;
• Respect for others and
• Responsibility for all your actions.


4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.


5. Learn all the rules so you know how to break them properly.


6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.


7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake take immediate steps to correct it.


8. Spend some time alone every day.


9. Open arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.


10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.


11. Live a good honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.


12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.


13. In a disagreement with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.


14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.


15. Be gentle with the earth.


16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.


17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.


18. Judge your success by what you have to give up in order to get it.


19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Until next time remember,

Only YOU can make it Happen!